The Four Magic Words
There are probably no four words in the field of human communication more powerful than, “How can I help?”
So often we encounter friends, family, and colleagues suffering a loss, facing an ugly obstacle or carrying a weighty burden. Words of consolation or encouragement are fine, especially if heartfelt. Where appropriate, an embrace or a touch can be comforting. But there’s nothing quite like “How can I help?”
“How can I help?” says that you’re willing to help shoulder their burden. It says that you’re prepared to participate in their pain. It tells them that you’re more than just words, but to paraphrase the biblical phrase, you’re willing to share the “fellowship of their suffering”.
Next time you’re tempted to utter the cost-free, throw-away “our thoughts and prayers are with you”, stop and ask if you really care. If you do, try “How can I help?”