When is a Blue Jay Not a Blue Jay?
The Blue Jay is one of Canada’s best known birds. At our house we can have a dozen at our feeders. Rowdy, curious, clever and aggressive, Cyanocitta cristata is one of our prettiest birds, and it knows it. But it’s not blue.
Come on, you say– why, even the Latin name hints at blueness!
Well, here’s the scientific fact: the blue jay’s feathers are not pigmented blue, but contain tiny refractive structures which bounce only the blue part of the light spectrum out to your eyes. It’s essentially the same science that makes the sky look blue, and is similar in effect to a prism, except that rather than producing the entire rainbow, it refracts out only one colour.
So, what does that have to do with communication? Simply this: the blue jay teaches us that all is not what it seems, or put another way, there’s often more than meets the eye (or the ear). The wise and effective communicator keeps this in mind at all times, especially (but not only) in dialogue situations.
Your listener may have a receptive look on her face, but her filters and experience may be such that she is buying something very different from what you’re selling, and neither of you realize it.
Your negotiating counterpart may not be saying what you’re hearing. You and he may be barking up entirely different trees, even if no deceit is intended.
All of which takes us back to one of the prime rules of effective communication: the better you understand your listener and the more you ensure you are both on the same wavelength, the more effective will be your communication.
https://www.canadiangeographic.ca/article/animal-facts-blue-jay
https://dnr.wi.gov/wnrmag/html/stories/2003/feb03/jays.htm (https://dnr.wi.gov/wnrmag/html/stories/2003/feb03/jays.htm )