Donald Trump and the Montreal Cognitive Assessment
Donald Trump keeps bragging that he “aced” the cognitive test. I don’t believe him, and here’s why.
The world’s Gold Standard test is the Montreal Cognitive Assessment, and as someone who lives not far from Montreal, I know that I would ace the test, but Trump wouldn’t have a clue.
Here are the questions, see how you fare:
1. Draw a clock face. Put the numbers from 1 to 12 in the correct places around the outside. Now circle the hours you can buy beer, somewhere, in Montreal. (The examiner will cross check your answer with Question 6.)
2. What’s the best hockey team in the world?
3. What is la Metropole?
4. What is the cutoff time for buying beer at the dépanneur?
5. Come to think of it, what is a dépanneur?
6. What’s the cutoff time for buying beer in a dépanneur if you slip the clerk a twenty?
7. What condiments go best with a steamie?
8. What do they sell at Schwartz’s?
9. A three-hour gridlock traffic jam in Montreal isn’t so bad because (choose one):
a. Everybody in Montreal has a case of cold beer in the trunk.
b. You can party.
c. Both of the above.
10. Bon Cop, Bad Cop is a movement to defund the police. Yes, or No.
11. Tête Carrée is a kind of chocolate bar enjoyed in Montreal. Yes, or No.
12. Name the ingredients of a poutine.
How many did you get right? (Send $99.99 to the Norm Bowley PAC and I’ll give you the correct answers. For $199.99 I’ll even give you a “Real Ace Certificate”, and for $299.99, the same in a genuine gold colored frame.)