I Have a Name

There are eight billion of us on this earth, so it’s easy to treat each of the hundreds we encounter daily as just another statistic, just one more blob of protoplasm. Easy, but not smart, and not right.

Take the technical help line calls. More often than not the individual on the other end announces themselves at the outset, more often than not they possess a name and an accent which tell you they’re “from away”. And they’re hard to understand, and annoying in their persistence. You didn’t really catch the name, and you’ll never deal with them again, so quickly they just become the voice on the other end of the line, uninvited and unwelcome.

In reality the woman at the help desk in the Philippines is actually a person. Let’s paint a picture: she’s a mom with two kids, one in high school and one in sixth grade. They’re going to grow up to be professionals, if she has anything to do with it.

But last month her doctor raised concerns about a lump on her back which wasn’t healing right. And her husband has been out of work for three months and is drinking too much. She actually has a name, and a life, and hopes, and dreams, and fears. She’s real. And she has a name, except you didn’t catch it, not that you care. In three or ten minutes, she’ll be gone.

I thought about this because just a few minutes ago I heard Karen, in the next room, connect to the bank help line. She took the time to be sure she caught the woman’s name, Maricar, repeated it to make sure she got the pronunciation right, then used it from time to time in the conversation.

Two things happened. First, Karen got far more thorough service, because, after all, now they were friends. But more importantly, Maricar had fifteen minutes of enjoyment and satisfaction because she was employing her expertise for a client she liked and who appreciated her as a person, as well as just “the help”.

Networking experts like Michael Hughes (https://networkingforresults.com/) will tell you that getting and using the name is the first key to success in developing a strong referral network.

When I was a teacher, I quickly learned to memorize the student lists on Day One, and then as quickly as possible, connect names to faces. When the students are actually persons with identities, it quickly follows that they have stories, too. A mom with a drinking problem, a dad whose business is failing, an older sister who is marvellous at everything and the focus of her parents’ entire adoration… Suddenly, the young human in front of you is not stupid, she’s a kid of high intelligence who happens to be dyslexic, seeing the world differently than most of us.

We’re all busy, and life is hectic. I get it. But each of us well knows the warm feeling and boost we get when someone takes the time to make us feel special. It doesn’t take a lot of time or effort to pass that on, to take a few seconds to ask a name, get to know a bit about them, and leave them (and you) feeling energised and affirmed. Not a big price to pay for so much reward.

But wait, there’s more!

As much as all of this seems “touchy-feely”, the hard reality is that even in business and in the professions, you actually deal with real people, and they like to feel like they count, and you value them as real humans, not just a mark to make a buck.

So in the first ten or fifteen minutes of your first client meeting (which you will not docket, by the way…), noting that they live in Almonte and asking if Joe’s Restaurant is still going strong, noting that Zinck is a classic Lunenburg County name and asking if they’re connected, and laughing that their birthday is the same as your son’s, you’ve already earned trust and respect because you care about the most important person in their world, them. More than once I’ve had referrals from such clients even before I had finished the work by which they should actually have judged me!

Maybe Jesus had a point when he told us, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”