The Peril of Modesty
In Eastern cultures, a premium is placed on modesty and even self-effacement. Even in our boisterous Western cultures, we generally agree that crass self-promotion is rude. And who wants to be rude?
As a result, when asked to list our best characteristics, we often fall silent, or mumble a lot. And that can be a problem when we sit down to inventory our Giftings.
Next week we’ll peel back the issue of blindness to our own talents, but here we’re discussing the situation where you actually know you’re pretty good at something, but believe that it is rude or immodest to admit it. In other words, you’re held back from dealing with one of your Giftings because you don’t want to seem like a braggart.
Let’s say for a moment that you have a real knack for song writing. You’re always spontaneously banging out tunes and lyrics, mostly as a joke, and people around you say you’re pretty good. But going on the road? Oh, heavens, no, that’s for professionals! Besides, you already have a really exciting career as a dishwasher.
Whether your gifting is roadworthy or not is the subject of another discussion. But not burying a unique talent is exactly the subject of this discussion.
Too much modesty is bad for a number of reasons. Bad for you, bad for everyone. And perhaps the most important reason it’s bad is that people fail to find their own Alignment– the place where their unique giftings align perfectly with the unique needs of potential clients. The place where you can be very well compensated for doing what you love, and making the world a better place in the process.
How many kindergarten kids fail to click with school because the right Miss Smith didn’t believe she was put on this earth to ignite the curiosities of five year olds? What life-saving drug has not been created because another Miss Smith settled for a job instead of following her passion for research? And who knows– if the right kid in the right minor league can be helped to persevere with the dream that he was born to score goals, maybe Toronto could finally win the Stanley Cup.
If there is a first step in understanding and cultivating your Giftings, it’s this: Stop denying that there are things you do exceptionally well, accept them as gifts, and run with them.
You owe it to yourself, and you owe it to the rest of us. We need you.
(This is the third in a series “Finding Your Giftedness”. Want to learn more? Drop me a note to set up a coffee chat.)