Blind to Your Own Brilliance

You don’t know what you don’t know, they say. And it’s also true that you don’t always know what you do know. Nowhere are these more problematic than when you are trying to inventory your own Giftings.

Everyone excels at something, which is good, but that also creates a problem. The paradox is that whenever something is very easy for us, we assume it’s easy for everyone else. Playing musical instruments, acquiring languages, winning arguments, baking, solving puzzles, inventing, selling…. Shucks, anybody can do that!

Well, in fact, not everybody can. And even amongst those who can, some are much better than others, and those prodigies especially have little idea of how exceptional they are. It’s not so much false modesty as it is “house blindness”– the phenomenon where you no longer see things because you’re just so accustomed to them.

Fortunately, those around us can see us more objectively than we see ourselves. As well, they are not bound by the false modesty which gets in the way of honest self-analysis. David Dunning, one of the leading researchers in the area, put it this way: “The road to self-insight runs through other people.”

Dunning is mostly, but not entirely, correct. At the end of the day we each are responsible for knowing ourselves, but he is right in that it is others who can give us necessary insight and honesty. And just as the input of others is important in helping us tamp down illusory superiority, it is even more important in helping us tamp down illusory mediocrity.

You can’t focus on anything of which you are unaware, so you certainly can’t begin to think about your unique Giftings until you clearly understand what they are.

This is why, as a starting point for understanding one’s Giftedness, I recommend that you ask others, especially those who are close to you and care enough about you that they will be candid in every sense. They will give you both the good news and the bad news.

In particular, they will help you understand and acknowledge those attributes that you possess which are unique and useful. In this way you can begin to discern your Giftings and their application.

Next week we will look at some of the tools and techniques to help you build your Giftedness inventory.

(This is the fourth in a series “Finding Your Giftedness”. Want to learn more? Drop me a note to set up a coffee chat.)