We Would Kindly Like to Invite You…
Language on autopilot is a graceless thing. And often dangerous. Consider the construction “We would kindly like to invite you…”
It’s a linguistic disaster. You see it every day, but being ubiquitous doesn’t stop it from being iniquitous.
What’s so wrong? Well, the construction offends on at least three counts.
First, it’s hackneyed. Expressions which are over-used just become white noise.
Second, it doesn’t truly say what you intend. Presumably, you’ve got something planned and you want me there.
But that’s not what you’re saying. You’re saying that you’d invite me if you could, but there’s some impediment. “We would like to invite you, but…”
What would it take to turn this into an actual invitation? Money? Approval of the Board? What’s holding you back? Is it me, or is it you? Or are you just teasing me?
The third error is that you’re attributing kindness to the wrong person. “We would kindly like…” means “We are being kind by inviting you.” If you put it that way, it sounds a little brassy. Unless you are royalty, you can’t talk like that!
This is an example of confusion about subject, object and verb. It’s always good to ask who is doing what, and to whom. In this case, “We would like it if you kindly attended…” would make sense, although “We’d be honoured by your presence…..” is not only shorter, it’s more elegant.
The construction itself is also an example of chaff language– useless filler that only takes up space, leads to confusion, and invites ridicule. On a ten-point scale from “Duh….” to “Shakespeare”, it’s a two or a three. Stay away from this stuff and you’ll sound much smarter.
Three good questions to ask yourself before “going public” are:
1. Does this make linguistic sense?
2. Could I say it more simply?
3. Could I say it with better effect?
Here’s to another week of powerful communication!
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