The Ornery Client

We all get them from time to time– clients who know more about the subject matter than we do and are happy to remind us of this at every turn. They won’t take our instructions, won’t do their homework, won’t respond to requests for information, and more often than not, see no good reason to pay us. After all, it was our privilege to have had them in our lives.

You know, and I know, that ornery clients are trouble and to be avoided. The problem is that they’re out there looking for you, and from time to time one will slip through your defences. When that happens, here are a few tips:

1. Price yourself above the ornery client ceiling. Most of these people are cheap, and will soon move on to someone more “reasonable”.

2. Get gobs of money up front, and keep an evergreen retainer. Never, never, never, do any work without ensuring payment is in your hands, not theirs. Bill early, frequently, and aggressively. Failing to do this will get you into the sunk cost fallacy (https://mailchi.mp/4585150c2ce5/resolution-for-2850441?e=[UNIQID]) , of which we wrote earlier.

3. Understand exactly what are the written and unwritten rules of your profession for client management and your duties to a client, in particular the rules about ridding yourself of them. Make sure you operate well within the bright lines.

4. Have a hard-nosed written retainer agreement or engagement letter which spells out in exact detail that if you spend time, you’re going to get paid. For every phone call, every e-mail, every argument about arguments, even whining about the accounts.

5. Have a painfully clear written set of rules about the way you play the game, and how the client fits in, and ensure the client signs off having read, understood, and agreed. Almost certainly he will begin to rebel, but at this point you have the upper hand and can send him packing.

6. Track your time, including the time the client wastes by whining and arguing, and bill for every minute of it. Do this very early in the piece, as this gets rid of most ornery clients, who will go around town telling all their ornery friends what a jerk you are. Which is perfect.

7. Protect your staff. Most ornery clients will treat your staff badly. Don’t tolerate it. This has two benefits. First, your staff will love you for being loyal to them, second, the ornery client will see that you are watching them all the time.

8. Having one of these clients is the professional equivalent of carrying around a rattlesnake. Never let your guard down, even for a second. These people live for their “Gotcha!” moments, and they will wound you professionally just for fun.

It’s pretty clear that your best defence is not to have anything to do with such clients. Simply never accept them in the first place. This gets easier and easier as you become more experienced and as you get busier, because you can afford to be choosier.

But even for beginners, frankly, you’re better off economically and professionally to stay home and mow the lawn or clean the pool than to grapple with these people.

Client management and cultivation is one of my consulting areas– call me if you think we need to have a conversation.