When You Gotta Give That Talk

Public speaking is one of those things that quickly and neatly divides the crowd into those who love it and those who hate it. Personally, I love the platform– there’s no rush like it. But most of my friends hear this and look at me as if I had two heads.

Fortunately or unfortunately, we all have to “make a speech” at some point. It may be a eulogy at a funeral, a toast at a wedding, or an earnest rant at town council. Whatever, you’re dragged out of your chair, a mic is stuck in your face, and there’s no going back. So the trick is to make it through without barfing, without crying, without making a fool of yourself, and mostly, by accomplishing your mission.

The eulogy of your friend, for example, is not about you. It’s about them, their memory, their loved ones, their legacy. Ditto for the wedding toast. The rant about the proposed paving of your favourite park is a little different, because now you’re on a mission of persuasion. But no matter, in every case, what’s important is not you, it’s your message. The trick is to get past yourself and focus on what the listeners need to hear.

Most of my friends who hate public speaking tell me it’s primarily the fear thing. In this regard there are two things that may be of assistance.

First, sometimes the best way to deal with fear is simply to force yourself to do what terrifies you. Bungee jumping, stepping out of a perfectly functioning airplane, snowboarding…. whatever. Sometimes you just have to “get a grip and do what you have to do”. Someone who is very dear and precious to me forced herself onto a Ferris Wheel at forty-five years of age because she was tired of being afraid. She was still nervous, but she was no longer terrified or controlled by fear.

So, dealing with your fear gets your feet onto the platform. At this point all you want to do is get your sweating hands into your dry mouth. Your brain is blank, your voice a bare squeak, your face is red, sweat pours off your brow. Heck, even your hair is a mess, and your zipper is down. Can it get any worse?

Well, yes, it can get worse. But it can also get better. Much better. The key is preparation. Proper preparation.

There are two elements to proper preparation. The first is content, the second is delivery. The two are tightly intertwined.

The key to good preparation for content is to get out of your head that it’s about “What do I need to say?” and focus instead on “What do they need to hear?” It’s not about you, it’s about them, and this distinction is critical.

When you focus on “what do they need to hear”, there’s one very simple concept to guide you. You need to ask yourself what they already know, where they need to go, then how you’re going to get them from the “already known” to the “need to know”. Simple as that.

If you just dump the “need to know” on them like a big load of hay, they’ll be unimpressed and overwhelmed, and you have failed. So what you need to do is create the logical series of dots which they will connect, from one “aha” moment to the next, and then you need to make sure they progress safely from each to the next. Think about their learning, not about your teaching.

The second thing you need to consider is your delivery. You know by experience that painful speakers never get their message across, but artful speakers always make their point. You need to be in the second group.

There are a thousand ways to make sure your crowd moves with you from introduction to conclusion, but here’s the best way to see it. When you are asking your audience to go from what they already know to what they need to know, you’re effectively going to lead them across a swaying suspension bridge over a deep gorge. You need to make sure they feel safe and comfortable. You need to hold their hands.

This is why you need to think long and hard about your step by step across the bridge. The audience needs to feel safe and sure that you know what you’re doing and where you are going. There are any number of ways to help them with this.

Obviously the most apparent way to reassure your audience is knowing your subject matter inside out. In this way you exude confidence and you put them at ease.

On the delivery side, you use techniques to clarify, such as illustration, analogy, parallels, compare and contrast, alphabet games, and stories. You know you love it, why wouldn’t they?

Should you use PowerPoint? Only if it enhances what you are saying and makes your talk better by a significant degree. And, at all costs, never use PowerPoint as your on-screen speech notes. Gahhhhhhh!!!!! Shoot me now!

Humour is like spice. Used naturally and appropriately, it can bring your talk to life and win over even the toughest audience. If forced or inappropriate, they’ll hate you for it.

Practice? Well, what do you think? Do Olympians practice? Do professional musicians practice? At the very least, practice will minimize that horrible thing about reading your speech. Nuff said.

Two quick last points. First, think long and hard about how you will end, make sure you “go out with a bang” and not just stop and say, “Well, I guess that’s about it….”

Second, at all costs, make eye contact with your audience, or at least fake it well. Even if you have to scan the back wall just above their heads, make it seem like you’re looking at them! I promise that if you do this enough, you’ll soon find the courage to actually look into some faces, and once you discover people smiling back at you, you’ll be hooked.

Happy speaking!

(“Well, I guess that’s about it….”)