The Gift

With Christmas Day just a week out, you’ve likely got all or most of your shopping and wrapping done. I’m intensely proud to say that I’ve been mostly done for a month or more.

It wasn’t always this way.

I used to be the guy who was literally still trying to buy stuff late on December 24 when they were turning off the store lights, ready to call security if I showed any signs of resisting ejection. “Sir, sir, yes, pay whatever you like, just buy it and get out!” And then, of course, I had to go home and wrap it without taping my thumbs to the packages, working late into the night, knowing that in a few short hours the house would be a pandemonium of shrieking, delirious kids and I’d be a grumpy, sleepy mess.

I think the transformation from the late guy to a somewhat earlier guy had to do with a shift in my understanding of what gifts are all about, or at least what they should be all about. Because, when all is said and done, a gift should really be, simply, a tangible way of saying, “I love you.” Thank-you, Karen, for teaching me that.

Like all forms of communication, gift giving is best understood through the eyes and heart of the recipient. And like all forms of communication, while there’s always a risk of miscommunication and misunderstanding, we always need to frame our speech, our writing, and our gift-giving trying to stand in the shoes of the recipient.

From my dear friend Richard I’ve come to understand that careful and artful wrapping is also a powerful iteration of saying, “You mean a lot to me, and I’m wrapping this as if to give to royalty.” Pretty important communication lesson, when you think about it.

Unique gifts which I’ve received from Karen, my kids, or now even from my grandkids, especially those obtained with some difficulty, remind me again of my place in their hearts. There is no greater communication of love than that someone has sacrificed the time and the energy of selecting and packaging a gift.

Gift giving is not to be done out of obligation, or seen as a transaction. Done right, it’s often hard work. But seen through the eyes and heart of the recipient, we know that a gift is a deep and remembered expression of tenderness, or love, or friendship, or respect, or all of these. Even business gifts should say, “I’m so glad I get to deal with you in our work” rather than appear as a bribe to maintain a relationship.

As you celebrate the season, whether as holy days or simply as a time of fellowship of family and friends, may you feel treasured and cherished by those you love.

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