The Whisky War

There are probably a couple of things you didn’t know about Canada and Denmark. One is that until recently, each bordered only one other country by land (the US and Germany, respectively). The other is that now Denmark and Canada share a land border with each other. And this is all the result of the Whisky War.

Up in the high Arctic, Canada’s Ellesmere Island looks out across the cold blue waters toward Greenland. And Greenland looks back at Canada. It happens, however, that there is a chunk of barren rock about halfway between them. The rock is big enough to have its own name, Hans Island. As far as we know, the barren island is of little interest with respect to petroleum or any other resources and lives in splendid isolation except for a few birds and other sea creatures.

But, it’s there. And because it’s there, important or not, we just can’t restrain ourselves – we all want it. Canada moved first, visiting the island in 1984, leaving our two most important symbols, a flag and a bottle of Canadian whisky. The Danes, not to be outdone, arrived the same year, planted their flag, and left a bottle of Gammel Dansk schnapps. The war was on!

Over the next nearly forty years the two sides visited the island from time to time, planting their flags and leaving yet another bottle. Nobody reports what happened to the booze that was found, but I’m sure it wasn’t wasted.

As NATO allies and otherwise good friends, there was no desire to escalate the “war”. Nevertheless, there was an open international dispute that needed to be resolved. In 2022 the two nations resolved to split the island more or less down the middle.

As a result, Canada and Denmark now each have a land border of roughly 1280 metres with the other. Not much, to be sure, but at least enough to ensure that each of our two countries now has a second land border. Given that the tiny rock is 3,740 km from Copenhagen and 3,951 km from Ottawa, it doesn’t get much tourist traffic and there’s no need for a border post.

What’s more important is that disputes of this nature, and even smaller, have more often than not led to bloody wars where the souls of thousands of youngsters were traded for a rock in the sea. That two nations can push back and forth with good humor and ultimately split things down the middle is a sign of some international maturity.

Now on to the next ten thousand “vitally important” infantile toy grabs currently threatening world peace………..