Finding Your Lane When There are Too Many Choices

Time and time again in my coaching I encounter individuals with the most enviable Giftings who are having great difficulty “leaving the runway”. They suffer from what I call the Boundless Buffet Syndrome, that is, they possess so many skills and talents and have such active minds that they can’t come to grips with choosing a career or speciality. Music? Recording artist. Math? Doing polynomials in your head. All the girls want to be with you and all the guys want to be you. There’s nothing you can’t do exceptionally well, except choosing.

When you’re really, really, really good at so many things, how do you choose your calling? To be blunt, you’ll probably spend your entire life wondering if you got it right, banging out magnificent work, but eternally asking the “What if?” question.

And yet, who wants to end up in their sunset years still wondering why they were put on earth? At some point you need to choose something which will give you joy and satisfaction and fulfilment, not to mention paying the bills.

To help come to grips with your “highest and best”, here are a few questions that you can ask yourself to help narrow your internal discussion:

1. What’s the one thing I’ll regret if I never do?

2. Where can I make a difference that few others can?

3. Is there a common thread to those moments where I feel most fulfilled?

4. If I won the lottery right now, what would I spend the rest of my life doing?

5.What’s the one thing that energizes me more than anything else?

6. What do others say I was born to do?

7. What are my most precious memories, and why?

8. What other things are people with similar training doing?

9. What are the things that others frequently ask me to explain or show them how to do?

10. Of the multiple things I’m really good at, are there any which would wear thin after a decade or two? If I chose one, is there room to grow out of it?

11. What are the callings where several of my Giftings could be in play?

12. Who are those people who expect the best from me, and what are they saying? Why are they wrong? Where are they right?

13. What kind of people do I most enjoy spending time with?

14. Why am I afraid of aiming high?

These are questions with which you might grapple alone for a while, but in most cases your answers will be richer and deeper and more useful when you bring in trusted others — friends, parents, partners, spouses, and siblings who will hold your feet to the fire and demand honesty and persistence in your quest.

And as I’ve said before, reach out to me if you like.