The Three Secrets of Successful Liars
Deceiving people for personal gain is sleazy, but very trendy these days. It’s useful to understand why and how “successful” liars operate.
There are three mainstays to the successful practice of chicanery: the appeal to vanity, the arousal of fear, and flim-flam. These devices simply take advantage of our essential natures. You can blame your distant ancestors for that.
Self-interest, fear of the unknown and a stubborn refusal to admit we’re confused, are part or our fibre. If you are a con artist, you’re simply going to use those as levers to get what you want.
According to the Bible, the first successful lie worked because of its appeal to vanity. “Eat this fruit,” intoned the serpent, “and ye shall be as gods.” “Really???!!!” giggled Eve, “Like Gods? Like, way cool!” You know how that went.
It’s in our DNA to agree with flattery. When someone comes along and tells you that you’re special, beautiful and brilliant, of course you’ll agree with him– why wouldn’t you? The professional liar simply takes this concept and makes it weapons-grade.
The second key to successful deceit is to instill fear. Again, we can’t resist the emotion of alarm, because we’re wired that way. We like to stay safe and alive. What matters is how we respond to the stimulus.
If I hear a sabre-tooth tiger, I should reach for my spear. If a trusted tribesman tells me there is a sabre-tooth tiger outside the cave, I should reach for my spear. But if Og the Unknown excitedly tells me there is a sabre-tooth tiger outside the cave, and he will save me if I give him two goats, then I need to balance the fear reaction with a bit of common sense. I didn’t hear a tiger, did you? And who is this Og guy, anyway?
The third great tool of the lying class is flim-flam. This is the verbal equivalent of the shell game. I make you think you are clever and can outsmart me, but in reality, I move the shells quickly and deceitfully and ultimately I take your money.
The flim-flam artist will dazzle you with plenty of big words, secret insider information and elaborate schemes, but in the end you are being played for a fool. All the while you’ve been flattered as a brilliant insider, and warned about missing out on your lucky day, or your doom if you don’t buy in. Your vanity and fear will not let you admit that this is way over your head and you feel rather stupid. In your fog, you think it better to say “Yes, sure!” rather than “I don’t get it.” Especially if all the other kids say they get it.
Flim-flam, ultimately, is about the kool-aid. Don’t drink it.
We can protect ourselves from much harm by asking these questions and insisting on complete answers:
1. Why are you flattering me?
2. What’s the evidence for the existence and gravity of the evil about which you’re warning me?
3. I must admit I don’t follow much of what you’re explaining. Before I invest more time and energy, can you first tell me what’s in it for you if I buy what you’re selling?
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