The First Thing That Comes Into Your Head

The subconscious goes way quicker than the conscious, and that’s a good thing. It’s also a terrible thing, if you let it get ahead of you.

Hunches and intuition save our bacon more often than we realize– there’s just something about a face or a mannerism that tells us to be cautious and to hold back, yet at other times, an unexplainable instinct tells us to trust or help someone long before our conscious mind works it out. Usually these choices made before logic work out for the best. But not always.

Sometimes the first thing that comes to mind is clever and creative or generous and uplifting, but sometimes it is mean and hurtful.

Sometimes the first thing that comes to mind should also come out of your mouth, but other times it should never be said. And therein is the conundrum of life.

The problem for me, and I imagine the same is true for you, is how to promote and allow the good instincts while reining in the hurtful or dangerous ones. And I suppose there are two keys.

First, it seems, is to ensure that what is going on in the subconscious is more likely to produce good stuff when it’s allowed out. King Solomon got it right when he said, “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.”

Second, I think, it pays to slow down the emission. That’s why we have the “count to ten” rule. Nowhere is this more true than in our business and professional communication, particularly in our age of instantaneous messaging. There’s nothing quite like a quick trigger finger on the “send” button to get us into trouble or make us look like a fool.

In conversation and in argument, too many of us fling out responses before the other speaker has even finished. That’s often not only discourteous, but unwise. Good courtroom lawyers know to pause before asking the next question, making sure they understand not only the actual words of the witness, but also the intent of the last answer.

Like fire, the subconscious can be our best friend. But sometimes it’s our worst enemy. It’s in our power to manage that.