The Trumpy Client

No, this is not a political smackdown, or a jest. This deals with an essential truth for all professionals and entrepreneurs. It can mean the difference between success and a trainwreck.

The truth is that all professionals have Trump-like clients who show up at the door looking for your help. Knowing how to deal with them makes all the difference between a successful career and terminal disaster.

I’ve had them, you’ve had them. They show up at your office, usually with considerable fanfare, and the flattery begins. “The word is that you’re the best in town,” they begin, “and I really need your help. My current lawyer is so incompetent that they should be disbarred and jailed. And, by the way, money is no object.”

You know the old saw that begins “If it sounds too good to be true…”?

If you’re new to your profession, let me tell you this: There’s no way that a Trump-like client will come to your door unless they’ve run out of other options. If you ask around just a little bit, you’ll quickly discover that they’ve already burned through dozens of other lawyers or engineers. No matter how good the flattery may sound to your ears, don’t believe a word of it.

If you’re a seasoned professional suffering a bit of a dry spell, for instance after you’ve just wrapped up an all-consuming two year trial, the promise of a fat piece of work can be very tempting. Ditto if you’re just getting back into the saddle after a long medical trauma, or your life has been out of control because of a bad divorce, or a take-no-prisoners partnership war. Having somebody offer to drop a twenty-ounce porterhouse steak on your grill sounds pretty tempting! Don’t fall for it.

This type of client I refer to as the “D Client”. High overhead, low return, or worse. These people don’t want you as a professional, they want you as their puppy to do tricks for the occasional biscuit.

They will treat your staff like their own servants, they will show up unannounced and demand “just a few minutes” of your time (which turns into three non-billable hours of bellyaching about their woes), and of course, their retainer cheque gets mysteriously lost in the mail.

At the end of the day, not only won’t they pay you, they will do you actual harm. If you even show up by their side, you’ll pick up their taint. Your hard-earned reputation, gained by years of careful and diligent work, quickly tarnishes, a kind of guilt by association.

Now, to be sure, some of us are professionally obligated to care for the Donald Trump clients. Criminal defence lawyers and surgeons, for instance, are sworn to do their best notwithstanding that their client/patient is a sorry excuse for humanity. Firefighters and police officers don’t get to pick and choose who to rescue and who to abandon. But you still need to be wary and smart.

Fortunately for most of us, most of the time, we get to pick and choose our clients, one of the few luxuries of being self-employed. And when the D Client shows up at your door, as he surely will, the only correct choice is very simple: “No”.

Even if you are in a profession where you must take on the D Client, make sure you have your Get Out of Jail Free card in your pocket. Make no exceptions, and enforce it at the first hint of their trying to jerk you around, which is usually in the first five minutes. No exceptions, no second chances.

Never forget this: your skill and experience at con artistry is limited, theirs is rich and deep. To them, you’re just one more mark. Don’t get involved with them. Your business, your staff, your family, and your future will all thank you.