The Curse of Being Too Good

You’d hardly think so, but being too good at too many things is actually too much, at least in many cases. Counter-intuitive as it may seem, Supergiftedness can actually produce mediocrity.

Surprised? Let’s think about it.

We all know them and envy them – the golden children who excel at everything. Academics? Poof! High nineties without having to study. Athletics? Yeah, walls covered with ribbons and medals. Music? Sure – playing lead guitar in a local band. Art? Selling paintings for spare cash. All this in one person, and they’re not eighteen yet.

The thing that really annoys the rest of us is that such people are so darn likable. Everybody loves them, and they love everybody right back. And they hardly ever break a sweat.

So how could this not be a wonderful thing? Well, the problem is that when life is one big banquet of rich and plentiful goodies, one can easily spend a lifetime trying a little of this, and a little of that, and then maybe some of that over there. There’s always more to try.

There are actually several problems. The obvious one is that very gifted people sometimes spend a lifetime as dabblers. Excellent dabblers, mind you, but nevertheless dabblers. But while they are easily scoring 95s, someone who is focused on her or his one Gifting is going to score 99 or 100. Very good is not the same as excellent.

But there’s another factor, at least. That factor is challenge. According to Csikszentmihalyi, we only get into “Flow” when there is both aptitude and challenge. And Flow is where all the good stuff happens.

While it’s possible to enjoy all kinds of aptitudes, it’s only possible to handle a few challenges at a time. Those guys who spin plates on sticks can maybe keep six or seven plates up in the air at a time, but the number remains finite. Shattered-porcelain chaos is never far away.

Thus, while most of us struggle to identify one or two Giftings, the Supergifteds have a different problem: how to select the one of two of their multiple aptitudes which enable them to elevate their achievements from very good to singularly excellent. And the key, mostly, is in finding those which expose them to challenges that make them sweat, that really get their attention, that move them out of the easy zone.

This notion is what helped me understand why some of the brightest people to enter law school became mediocre lawyers, while some who had to work to get decent grades turned out to be stellar. I suspect the same is true of most professions.

I see people struggling to find their best Giftings because they have so many from which to choose. If all you can do is whistle Dixie, it’s not too hard to discover your Gifting, but if you’re pretty darn good at nearly anything you try, it’s much harder to pick through the treasure chest to divine your purpose in life.

The good news for the Supergifted is that almost invariably there is one Gifting which appeals most because it speaks to the heart. It is the one which puts you in your zone, which puts you in a place of Flow, a place where the world drops away and you’re left with just you and the universe. It’s also the most demanding, the one that throws up challenge after challenge, calling for more practice, more energy, and more focus. But it’s lifechanging when you find it.

Having trouble finding the one Gifting? Happy to talk.