Hitler Rescued by Aliens

This article has little to do with Hitler. Or aliens. But you opened it, didn’t you, and that’s the point I want to make.

Donald Trump’s friend, the aptly named David Pecker, made himself very, very wealthy producing trashy tabloids for the checkout trade. Knowing he would have lineups of bored shoppers with nothing else to do, he single handedly plastered entire magazine racks with garish photographs and blaring headlines of the “Man Bites Dog!” variety.

Over the years we’ve seen headlines of Elvis’s infidelity, John Lennon’s resurrection, and the Kennedy assassination hoax. And if those screaming outrages don’t get you, promises of a banana-based (but illegal) cancer cure, warnings about radioactive radishes, or an alien base on the moon will reel you in. Not to mention Hitler’s rescue.

If you actually buy one of these rags, you’ll be disappointed with the content – it’s pretty thin. But at that point, Mr. Pecker doesn’t really care. He’s got your five bucks, and good for him.

The importance of a compelling title cannot be overstated. We’re all hardwired to respond. We just can’t resist flashing lights and loud noises. Smart advertisers know this. David Pecker knows this.

Now, I’m not suggesting for a moment that all your titles need to be titillating or outrageous. But they can’t be boring.

I once wrote a serious thesis for my masters degree. It was about technology, law, and security. I entitled it “Cryptosaurus Rex: Alice and Bob in Juristic Park”. I’m not sure it was a good piece of research, but I certainly got readers.

If you want to keep the reader and earn respect, you need good content. But good content won’t reel in the reader. To do that you need a compelling title. It needn’t be about Hitler or aliens, but it most certainly can’t be boring.

Far too often we write careful missives, full of good stuff and the result of much thought and hard work. Then we curse them with mousy titles. It’s as if you built a beautiful superstore and graced it with a spray painted sign on a torn sheet of cardboard.

And just in case you’re wondering, Hitler actually is still alive and well and living in a city under the ice of Antarctica. You heard it here, first.